About me

The basics

I'm 42, 6'4", and interested in women. I've never been married, but would like to change that. No kids yet, but very much want them. I'm ethnically Jewish (50% Ashkenazi!) and love the culture, but I wasn't raised with any religion and don't practice any now.

My home is in Somerville, MA and I'm pretty planted here. Last year, I bought a lake house with my family! We're there almost every weekend in the summer, and it's made our already-close relationships even stronger.

Family

I won the family lottery. It's almost certainly the best thing about my life.

I have a younger brother who lives nearby and is one of my favorite people. He's married with a young son and daughter. I knew I would enjoy being an uncle, but I'm liking it even more than expected. I almost can't talk about my niece and nephew without smiling.

My parents also live nearby. My mom is smart and warm, and my dad is ridiculously handy and protective of his people.

Work

I'm the co-founder of a software company I started in 2018 with two friends. Thanks to some good decisions and even better luck, we've done super well. This year, my co-founders and I put new leaders in place and stepped away from day-to-day operations.

I don't currently need a day-job, so I spend most of my time pursuing passion projects. Lately, I've been getting rather involved in local politics and building Fractal Boston.

Fractal is a community for friendly, ambitious people who want to connect meaningfully and build a thriving social scene. We eat dinner together every Sunday, co-work together on Wednesdays, and we're even running a peer-to-peer university where members teach each other about their passions and expertise. It's become one of my favorite things I've ever been part of, and (if you're interested!) I'd love for you to be a part of it.

Singing

One of the things that brings me the most joy in life is singing.

I was fortunate to be raised by musical parents who encouraged me to join choruses at an early age. Thanks to them, I've been singing in some ensemble or another for ~30 years.

Currently, I sing with the Tanglewood Festival Choir, which performs with the Boston Symphony Orchestra.

Before that, I sang in a barbershop quartet for 10 years alongside my brother. I miss that group a lot and hope to start a new quartet someday.

I've had so many rich experiences in those groups, and I'd love to tell you about them in person.

But for now, here's a little glimpse of my quartet at one of our coolest gigs:

Fitness

Even when it's a pain, I'm pretty good about making myself exercise regularly.

It's worth it to me for a few reasons:

• Living is awesome and I want to do it for a long time!
• I want to be a bad-ass old dude who can occasionally embarrass the younger guys.
• It makes my moods dramatically better. I'm more fun to be around when I'm exercising.
• Little bit of vanity, tbh.

I tend to bounce between fitness activities. I get super into something for a while and then change it up. Right now it's lifting and yoga, but previous stints have included volleyball, boxing, and ultimate.

Things I value in a partner 😍

Important stuff

• You're emotionally warm and have nurturer energy. You have a ton of love to give, and are excited about receiving it as well (I'm very affectionate and always have been).
• You think we'd be good at making each other laugh. I seem to value having a funny partner more than most. I've found it makes life so much more enjoyable. I love quick-wittedness and callbacks. These days, I most enjoy the comedy of Shane Gillis, Taylor Tomlinson, Mike Birbiglia, Jordan Jensen, Tom Segura, and Bo Burnham.
• You're excited to start having kids in the next couple years (after dating, marriage, and at least one serious adventure).
  • It's very important to me to eventually be a father, but I'm somewhat flexible on how I achieve this. In order, starting with most appealing, my preferences are: have biological kids with my partner, have biological kids via a surrogate, adopt.
  • I'm open to dating people with kids if you're open to having more (or to me pursuing having kids some other way and then raising them together).
• You're willing to live near Boston most of the time
  • This is a pretty hard deal-breaker for me. I very much want to live near my family a lot of the time. That said, if there's a part of the world that's important to you to be in, I'm down to live there some of the year! (Want to get away from New England winters, for example? No problem.)
• You take your health and fitness pretty seriously. Personally, I plan to never die. It's fine if you do, but only after a good long bit.
• You tend to focus on what's good in the world. You're not afraid to confront life's challenges, but do so from a place of optimism.

Non-essential bonuses

• You have a good memory and are detail-oriented (these are a weakness for me, so it'd be rad if I could lean on you a bit here).
• You make things happen in the world. What are your schemes? How can I help? Will you help me with mine?
• You have a great relationship with your family.
• You have a little bit of a mischievous side.

Things I'm excited to do together

• Raise happy kids.
• Decide which of life's default settings we're into, and which we think we can improve on.
• Choose a time each week to check in and connect, and treat it as sacred.
• Co-create a business (Highly optional! Only if it flows).
• Not actually collaborative, but: say “let me check with the boss” when people ask if I'm free.
• Create the circumstances to spend lots of time with the people we love.
• Exercise.
• Telepathically communicate that we're ready to leave the gathering.
• Improve the societies we're a part of.

Things that might not work for you

• I am socially quite liberal, but my economic views lean libertarian. I tend to think that capitalism and free markets usually (though not always!) produce better outcomes than their alternatives.
• I'm a bit allergic to people using astrology as a truth-finding tool.
• The in-practice replacement of iced coffee with cold brew was a crime and rises to the level of iced coffee erasure.

Getting in touch

If you think we might be a match, I'd love to hear from you: ben@benorenstein.com

If you do reach out, please don't feel like you need to include as many details as I have here. However, please do include at least some basics and a few photos. If you have links to online presences that I can check out, that'd be great too.

Hope to hear from you soon! :)

Bonus pics

Click for larger versions